Caregiving: 10 Survival Strategies for Long-Distance Caregivers

If your mother lives in Phoenix and you’re in New York, how do you help take
care of her? Angela Heath, director of the Eldercare Locator Hotline of the
National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, has compiled 10 strategies to
help you cope. This article is adapted from Heath’s book, “Long-Distance
Caregiving: A Survival Guide for Far Away Caregivers.”

No. 1: Get organized

Keep track of important information in a care log.

No. 2: Identify your informal network

Ask for help from people in the older person’s community, such as relatives,
neighbors, longtime family friends and members of religious, civic, and social
organizations. Ask them to call you collect if they spot a problem.

No. 3: Investigate travel alternatives

Be prepared to “care commute.” Investigate travel options in advance.
Keep your car in good repair, and check on the route and weather before
traveling.
If you rent a car, look for the best rates. Don’t pay for insurance if you
already carry full coverage or your credit card company offers coverage. You
may get a discount when buying bus or train tickets if you disclose that it’s
an emergency. Purchase airline tickets seven days in advance and stay over a
Saturday night.

No. 4: Discuss legal and financial issues

These topics may be difficult to talk about, but they help ensure that the
older person maintains decision-making authority even when incapacitated.
Preplanning will also lessen family disagreements and protect family
resources.

Will: the older person decides how to dispose of assets after
death.

Power of attorney: gives a caregiver the authority to act on behalf
of the older person.

Trust: estate-planning document allows the older person to transfer
assets and avoid probate and other legal problems.

Joint ownership: makes it easier to gain access to older person’s
finances.

Representative payee: A caregiver receives government checks for an
older person unable to manage money.

Medigap insurance: pays portion of medical bills not covered by
Medicare.

No. 5: Take care of necessary paperwork

Find all legal, financial, and insurance documents, including birth
certificates, social security cards, marriage or divorce decrees, wills, and
power of attorney. Identify bank accounts, titles, sources of income and
obligations, and auto, life, homeowner’s, and medical insurance papers. Review
these documents for accuracy and update them if necessary. Store documents in a
secure place such as a safe-deposit box or a fireproof box. Be safe — make
duplicate copies.

No. 6: Tap into the aging network

Contact the local department on aging in your relative’s community. This agency
can help you identify helpful services. Use the National Eldercare Locator
Service at (800) 677-1116 to find local aging agencies.

No. 7: Develop a plan of care

If possible, bring the family together for a meeting. Decide with the older
person what the primary needs are, who can provide assistance and what
community resources would help. Summarize your agreement in writing. Keep in
mind that family difficulties are typical. You may need to bring in a family
therapist or social worker to help.